I think my individual supervisor (as opposed to my group supervisor, both of whom I meet with each week) and I have philosophical differences. She comes from the school of exploring and identifying feelings in order to emphathize and noting where they lie in the body. Feelings, feelings, feelings. In contrast, my approach is about teaching new skills, reaching new perspectives to make better goals, problem solving, and seeing things more rationally rather than in upsetting irrational ways. I’m up in the head and she’s down in the body. Fortunately, she’s flexible enough to say I don’t have to do things her way and that other ways are also valid. And she uses a maneuver I’m not so sure about: When she feels a first-time client won’t mesh with her therapeutic style, she purposely and manipulatively acts cold so that they don’t come back. I don’t think I agree with that way of doing things, being a champion of openness and straightforwardness, but I see her rationale that at least they’re making their own choice not to come back instead of her telling them to beat it. Still, I’d rather say, “I think you’d benefit more from X type of therapy rather than mine, and here’s a referral. I just want what’s most helpful to you, considering your specific case. Otherwise, I’d love to work with you.”

I’ve had more than one client tell me I’m good and that they feel connected to me, so that’s encouraging. I’m not that disconnected from humanity, and I can combine mind and heart. But the connecting with heart happens via the process of using the mind for me. To be honest, I wish I didn’t have to do individual supervision at all. I hate having to talk about other people for 45 minutes nonstop, so I prefer group supervision where I can listen to others and then take my turn when I feel like it. Oh well, another 9 months of this. I’ll try to use it to my benefit as is possible. At least I don’t have to pay for my training and supervision like some of my classmates do at their sites.

I’m supposed to be seeing 8 individual clients or 7 individuals and a group, but I’m not doing that. Honestly, I’m not sure I can handle that much “people time” each week, along with class. I haven’t been given a hard time about it, and I hope they don’t bother me over it. I just need a lot of space, and that goes for mental space too. I’m not lazy, but I get fried from human interaction very easily. I do intend on increasing my load to 5 or 6, though, and may start an Asperger support group. Not sure what the demand is in these parts, but I’ll research and possibly just try and see.