Forget about unemployment numbers or new home starts or LIBOR. Henry Blodget (formerly an analyst at Merrill Lynch (formerly an investment bank)), posts some seriously troubling news:

ERIN BURNETT IS CUTTING BACK ON SPENDING 

Okay, now try not to panic. Although this proves that the bailout and the coordinated central bank rate cuts have been abject failures, we may still be able to dig ourselves out of this hole.

The Fed and the Treasury now need to take their monetary and fiscal response to the next level. The Fed needs to immediately start issuing gold credit cards with no spending limit to individuals, starting with Erin Burnett and her friends. We could call it the Temporary Personal Emergency Discretionary Liquidity Plan, or TPEDLP for short. Furthermore, Hank Paulson needs to declare a national state of emergency and make any store closings or stock price declines illegal. Congress needs to come together in a bipartisan fashion to provide an emergency bailout for the handbags and shoes industry. This won’t be popular or easy, but together, we can do it.

Until and unless the Erin Burnett Personal Spending Indicator™ starts to tick upwards again, EphBlog Research recommends a portfolio allocation of 90% cash and 10% soup*.

*Full Disclosure: EphBlog currently holds a long position in soup.